'Tis the Season for Shaming People That Celebrate Holidays and Feed Capitalism!

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12/04/25

In this episode of Please Say The Dailey, Vanisha talks about the controversial topic of how holiday celebrations are often tied to consumerism and capitalism. She discusses why some people feel judged or ostracized for “participating” in holidays, even when their celebration is rooted in family, joy, or tradition rather than consumer excess. She questions whether holiday-shaming is ever actually justified and what role capitalism plays in shaping our holiday behaviors and feelings of guilt. Whether you love or hate the holidays, this conversation offers a chance to reflect on celebration, societal pressure, consumer culture, and personal choice.

Transcript:

You are now tuned in to Vanisha R. Dailey. Please say the Dailey. Hey, hey, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Please Say the Dailey. I am your host, Vanisha R. Daile y, and this is episode 15. Today we are going to be diving into a topic that comes up every single year. We are currently in the thick of holiday season, so I'm hoping that this message catches you at the perfect time. So, like I said, this comes up every single year, especially online, and that's the conversation around capitalism, the holidays, and this growing trend of shaming people for how they choose to celebrate them. And listen, as someone that studies sociology, I absolutely believe in using our voices as a means of activism, especially when we're calling attention to systems we've normalized. These are systems that heavily exploit us. But here's the thing, we have to be careful about how the message comes off. Because a message about liberation can easily turn into a message about moral superiority. And that's not helpful to anybody. But wait, before we jump in, go ahead and make sure that you are subscribed. Let's get into it. Let's start with what capitalism is. Capitalism is an economic system where private individuals or corporations control production. Goods and services are bought and sold for profit, and economic life centers around markets rather than communal or state ownership. Its foundations are competition, private property, wage labor, and unequal power dynamics. Historically, capitalism evolved alongside of European colonial expansion, racial hierarchy, and extraction-based economies. We're seeing this happen all across the world. And this means that from the beginning, capitalism grew by exploiting land, labor, and resources, especially the labor of enslaved Africans. So when we talk about capitalism today, we're not just talking about shopping at Target, which we do not, by the way. We're talking about a system with deep roots in colonialism, slavery, and inequality. So what systems are a part of capitalism? Unfortunately, everything. But more specifically, our financial system, the labor system, education system, housing, health care, agriculture, and food distribution, media, entertainment, technology, policing, and the prison industrial complex. Capitalism shapes how we work, how we live, rest, and even how we celebrate. Which brings us back to the holidays. Every year without fail, people hop on s

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Chapters

• 0:42 Introduction: framing the conflict — holiday traditions vs. anti-consumerism
• 3:53 What does it mean to “celebrate” a holiday in a capitalist society?
• 5:11 The rise of “holiday-shaming”: where it comes from & who does it affect
• 5:42 Personal stories: guilt, judgment, and navigating family expectations
• 7:32 Can holiday celebration ever be decoupled from capitalism? Exploring alternative traditions
• 9:26 Social media & peer pressure: how community norms shape behavior
• 10:17 Eco-Friendly Solutions
• 13:02 Final thoughts: balancing joy, intention, and consumer awareness
• 15:32 Activism, Creating the Change We Want to See
• 17:01 How Am I Intentional in My Activism?
• 18:11 Closing Thoughts and A Call To Action

Transcript

Speaker: 0:12

You are now tuned in to Vanisha R. Dailey. Please say the Dailey. Hey, hey, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Please Say the Dailey. I am your host, Vanisha R. Daile y, and this is episode 15. Today we are going to be diving into a topic that comes up every single year. We are currently in the thick of holiday season, so I'm hoping that this message catches you at the perfect time. So, like I said, this comes up every single year, especially online, and that's the conversation around capitalism, the holidays, and this growing trend of shaming people for how they choose to celebrate them. And listen, as someone that studies sociology, I absolutely believe in using our voices as a means of activism, especially when we're calling attention to systems we've normalized. These are systems that heavily exploit us. But here's the thing, we have to be careful about how the message comes off. Because a message about liberation can easily turn into a message about moral superiority. And that's not helpful to anybody. But wait, before we jump in, go ahead and make sure that you are subscribed. Let's get into it. Let's start with what capitalism is. Capitalism is an economic system where private individuals or corporations control production. Goods and services are bought and sold for profit, and economic life centers around markets rather than communal or state ownership. Its foundations are competition, private property, wage labor, and unequal power dynamics. Historically, capitalism evolved alongside of European colonial expansion, racial hierarchy, and extraction-based economies. We're seeing this happen all across the world. And this means that from the beginning, capitalism grew by exploiting land, labor, and resources, especially the labor of enslaved Africans. So when we talk about capitalism today, we're not just talking about shopping at Target, which we do not, by the way. We're talking about a system with deep roots in colonialism, slavery, and inequality. So what systems are a part of capitalism? Unfortunately, everything. But more specifically, our financial system, the labor system, education system, housing, health care, agriculture, and food distribution, media, entertainment, technology, policing, and the prison industrial complex. Capitalism shapes how we work, how we live, rest, and even how we celebrate. Which brings us back to the holidays. Every year without fail, people hop on social media to shame others for how they celebrate the holidays. You're feeding capitalism, you're participating in colonial traditions, you're not socially conscious enough. And I'll be honest, I used to be one of those people until I realized something important. There are many different ways that we all interact with the systems that funnel into the economy. And none of us, not me, not you, not the people we critique, none of us have found a perfect way to escape capitalism. Because capitalism is not just a system that we participate in, it's a system that we were born into. We are all participating in upholding capitalism, every single one of us. As an African American, a descendant of enslaved people taken through the transatlantic slave trade. It's my duty to stay connected to the culture that has formed over the generations in this country. And that culture is complex. African Americans are not descendant from just one African culture. We are the descendants of many different African cultures. And those cultures are all mixed with the trauma of enslavement, the strategies of survival, the influence of Christianity, indigenous cultural exchange, and the pressures of white American norms. So when people lecture black Americans about how to celebrate or not celebrate certain holidays, it can be a bit short-sighted because our cultural relationship to this country is not identical and it never has been. For example, some black families celebrate the 4th of July. I personally don't. African Americans were still enslaved at that time. But my late grandfather's birthday was 4th of July. So even that holiday has layered meaning in my family. Before I was married, I didn't celebrate holidays at all, despite growing up in a household that celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas. I had turned into a bit of a Grinch, which, funny enough, that's actually my holiday theme this year. But then I married into a family that celebrates all of those things heavily. And then I became a parent. Suddenly I felt something shift. I wanted my daughter to have some of the same warm, joyful memories that I had growing up. The food on Thanksgiving, the extended family gatherings whenever that would happen, the excitement of Christmas morning, and barely sleeping just because I was so excited. I found myself feeling an intense desire to replicate all of my mother's signature dishes that I enjoyed growing up. From macaroni and cheese, candy yams, sweet potato pies, and I started getting more into festive decorating just as my mother did when I was little. Were those experiences tied to capitalism? Absolutely. Were they also some of my favorite childhood memories? Yes. These situations are multi-layered and complex, and that's totally normal in life. So here's my message for today. The next time that you feel tempted to shame someone for participating in capitalism, just pause for a second. Because until you stop paying taxes, you stop working, buying anything, you stop using your phone, you stop using the internet, stop consuming electricity, you stop buying food, you stop participating in the school system, so no education, you stop engaging with all technology and media, you stop driving, you stop using health care, and you stop buying or renting a home, you are also participating in capitalism. Capitalism is structured by design, and the only way that you can't participate in it is if you literally stop doing everything. Who is at that point? Please reach out to me if you know of someone that's at that point. None of us are escaping capitalism individually, and none of us are perfect. So, with that being said, I don't think any of us are in a position to shame others for doing what they need to do to survive, to find joy, or to maintain their family traditions. So, what is actually in our power? And how can we move in the direction of making better choices within a capitalist society? What can we do that doesn't rely on shame, guilt, or perfectionism? If you're new here, I have a BA in sociology with a focus in environmental and natural resources, and I'm currently a digital sociology grad student. So here are some real tangible, accessible ways to push back on capitalism without abandoning modern life. These choices can reduce harm and resist the system in realistic, humane ways. You don't have to stop gift giving. You don't even have to deny yourself of those meaningful traditions, but you can cut back on unnecessary buying, impulse purchases, yearly holes, excessive holiday buying. If you aren't using it, don't just trash it. Consider donating, because I'm sure someone could make good use out of those items. Environmental sociology teaches us that waste is a structural issue, not just an individual one, but individual choices do matter. Some ways to reduce harm. Reuse decorations instead of buying new ones every year. Repair items instead of replacing them. Repurpose old clothes, furniture, or even containers. Upcycle whenever possible. This not only reduces ecological strain, it reduces dependence on consumer cycles. Buy second hand when you can. Here's where sociology meets sustainable practice. Second hand markets, thrift stores, buy nothing groups, Poshmark, Depop, consignment shops, all of these represent alternative economies, turnative economies, community-based exchange, reduced environmental impact, and lower resource extraction. Buying second hand interrupts capitalism's profit cycle while still allowing people to participate in culture, fashion, and gift giving in gentler ways. It also deeply aligned, this also deeply aligns with the environmental and natural resource field because it reduces tactile waste, carbon emissions, energy usage, and landfilled pressure. We need to buy local when possible. When we buy local, it helps with economic distribution, community reach and leverage, and of course it is environmentally beneficial. When we buy from the local farmer's market, a local artist, or even black-owned businesses, we are keeping money within the community rather than funneling it upward into billion-dollar megacorporations. This is exactly the kind of community resilience that sociologists talk about when discussing alternatives to capitalist structures. We have to work toward sustainability ideas that center impact reduction. There's no way that we can completely escape the structure of capitalism. That would be nice, but it's not realistic. So how can we interact with our society in a conscious and more ethically aware way? Consider thinking before purchasing an item. And ask yourself, do I really need this? Try to reduce waste, support mutual aid, and sustain traditions with legitimate intention. Also, if you are someone that interacts with children in any way, whether you're a parent, a teacher, or a caregiver, you have the privilege of teaching these babies how to interact with the environment. Let me tell you, one of my very proud parent moments is when I hear my five-year-old tell her friends not to litter. We talk about healthy habits for the earth and practicing good stewardship. So please, y'all don't sleep on how impactful it is to educate the younger generations on these practices. Another component to this is that we have to understand that not everyone has the same access to sustainable choices. For low-income communities and families, buying organic is not always a feasible option, because food apartheid, aka food deserts, are a serious issue that accentuates the systemic inequalities and environmental issues that impact various communities. And that's a very real thing. Secondhand stores may still be expensive, and the time to actually repurpose items isn't always an option. So while we definitely want to encourage sustainable practices, we absolutely cannot shame people who don't have the same privilege to make those choices. Capitalism has uneven impacts. So our compassion needs to be even louder to acknowledge that factor. Moving on to another major topic: activism. There are many ways to show up as an activist. And whether that's through boycotting or speaking up and spreading awareness, I want you to become okay with the fact that you will not be able to participate in every single thing. And I know that may be a bit controversial in the world of radicalism, but I'm a realist, and that is the reality. Does that make you any less than because you can't always show up how you want to for whatever reason? I don't think that at all, because we've seen these movements throughout history, from the Montgomery bus boycott to the United Farm Workers Movement to anti-apartheid boycotts. With all of these movements, they only worked because people were showing up in a multitude of ways. It wasn't because everyone was at every protest event. While someone may boycott something, another person might donate. Someone else may organize a protest, and others focus on educating the public or figuring out strategies to build resources behind the scenes. That's how movements work. As long as we never lose focus and we continue to be intentional, those efforts can absolutely make a difference. Here's some of the many ways that I am intentional in my activism. As of last year, the majority of my clothes have been bought from secondhand shops, and I have cut back on purchasing clothes tremendously. What was the secret? I stopped going to Target. I really did not realize how much money I spent at Target until I started boycotting them at the beginning of this year. And as much as I loved them, I definitely don't ever plan on returning. Period. So try to show up somewhere and contribute in meaningful ways. Align your choices with your values when you can, wherever you can. Because as Belle Hook said in her book, entitled Teaching Community, A Pedagogy of Hope, she says, to build community requires vigilant awareness of the work we must continually do to undermine all the socialization that leads us to behave in ways that perpetuate domination. So as we move through these seasons, I want you to remember that we are human beings living in a system that we did not create. They existed before us, and sadly, they will continue to exist long after us. These systems literally impact how we go about everything within our lives. And with that fact in mind, we've continued to find spaces of joy, build culture, and traditions. We will continue to push forward, and hopefully we can somehow figure out how to make things just a little bit better, even if we can't dismantle it all. It is impossible for one person to carry the weight of all of this political chaos that's happening in the world. But we can strategize slowly and steadily, creating the change that we want to see. As I sign off, please share this episode with someone and reach out to me because I would love to hear how you are navigating this topic of celebrating the holidays and your own activism. Thank you for listening, and thank you for showing up in the ways that you do. Stay critical, curious, and compassionate. Until next time.